Honey You're My Hero
by Muzik-Mafia3142
Summary: All Human. Emmett, Jasper, and Edward are all fired. Rosalie, Alice, and Bella offer to work until they can find a job. See inside for full summary. E/B, EM/R; J/A
1. Summery

All Human. Emmett, Jasper, and Edward are all fired. Rosalie, Alice, and Bella offer to work until they can find a job. Rosalie is pissed at Emmett because it's like the 100th job he's lost. Alice is pissed at Emmett because they always blame it on him (Poor Emmett.) And of course Bella is understanding that is until Edward slips up and says something Emmett-ish, now Bella has bet him that he wont last a day with the kids. WARNING contains Pampers, sweet potatoes,crayons, Barney...etc. basically insanity and it's only Monday. **(Note this was inspired by by Lonestar)** The guys have no idea what they have gotten themselves into. **Okay this isn't exactly a chapter but the first one will be posted Tomorrow.**


	2. Baby, I Lost My Job

**Note no chapters will be in Alice's, Bella's, or Rosalie's they will all be in either Emmett's, Jasper's, Edward's or a mix of the three. Here's the first chapter.**

Baby, I Lost My Job

Emmett's POV

"This is the last straw the three of you are fired!" Hairy lip can't take a joke can he or is he really a she. "Now get out or I WILL have you forcibly removed!" We walked out of there Edward looked like he was in shock and Jasper looked scared. WAIT, I GOT FIRED!!! Now I HAVE to TELL ROSALIE!!! CRAP, I AM SO DEAD!!!

I cautiously walked through my front door. "Sweetheart you're early, why?" She said in her I-know-what-you did voice. That voice scares the heck out of me. I like her better when she's yelling or bored or staring at herself in a reflective surface because then at least she's herself.

"Well, Rosie-baby Edward, Jasper, and I got fired." She walked into the room I was in, came up to me and slapped me on the head. "You idiot what did you do?"

"I… It… but…" I stuttered, she held up her hand to stop me from trying to ramble through an explanation.

"I'll go to work while you look for a job, but you owe me for not ripping you to shreds. So you get to take care of Emily and Reese. I'll make a schedule for you and don't worry I'm sure you'll have Jasper and Edward to help you." She walked off angry, maybe I should go say sorry. No she'll be fine, wait I get to stay home watch T.V, take naps and play with my kids.

Jasper's POV

"Ali-hon I lost my job." She came in looking really sad. No must comfort her, I went over and pulled her into a hug.

"It's Emmett's fault isn't it," I opened my mouth to protest but she stopped me. "Don't defend him. I'm going to kill him. And after I do that I'll get a job and you can take care of Jason and Alexia." I guess it could be worse; Alice wouldn't let me if it was going to be hard, right?

Edward's POV

I walked into my house and was immediately attacked by our dog Jake. "Jake down, no don't. Good boy, Now go away." Jake walked away, with his tongue hanging out to the side and his tail wagging stupid dog.

"Edward your home early." She said giving me a hug.

"Bella love, I have to tell you something." I led her to the couch and had her sit down.

"What is it Edward?" she looked so sweet; she was holding the baby monitor and her cell phone.

"Love, I got fired. So did Emmett and Jasper." She stood up and walked over to me. After kissing me quickly on the lips, hugging me, and whispering in my ear that's too bad. She said "You can stay here and watch Elizabeth and Bryent while I go to work until you can find another job."

"Bella, I want to be the one to provide for you and the kids not the other way around"

"Oh so you think I can't do it, well I bet you wouldn't last one day as Mr. Mom."

"What?!? All you do is lay around the house and take Bryent where he needs to go."

"Really is that what you think, well tomorrow I'll leave you a list of things that need to be done. Oh and enjoy the couch."

Aww man why did I have to go and say something so Emmett like. I was almost comfortable when Elizabeth began to cry; I stood up and went to pick her up. Bella came in and saw that I had her so she went back to bed. After Elizabeth quieted down I went back to the uncomfortable couch and tried to sleep.

**Okay I just had to do the whole stupid dog thing. Anyhoo Huggs from your fave Twilight guy if you review so tell me what you like or what you thought needed to be fixed. **


	3. Here's Your To Do List

**This is Emmett's List and some of his morning. I hope you enjoy it when I wrote it I thought it was really funny it might not really be but I thought it was. **

Here's your To Do List

Emmett's POV

Without opening my eyes started stretching, reaching for Rosie but instead I just felt carpet. Huh, carpet I open my eyes and find myself face to face with my shoes. Oh well, I'll just go see what Rose made me for breakfast.

I walk into the kitchen and the first thing I notice is that there is no food. The second thing I notice is that Rose isn't there. So like the brilliant, wonderful, awesome, man that I am I go to the fridge to look for something to eat.

When I open it there is an envelope in front of the leftovers from last night. It's addressed to me, in what looks like Rosie's handwriting but I can't be sure. Who would put a letter in the fridge?

"AHHHHHHH!!!! IT'S A BOMB!" I scream. "WHAT DO I DO? AHHHHHH!!!" I ran to Emily's room but she's not there, so I run to Reese's room but he's not there either. "AHHHHH!!! MY KIDS HAVE BEEN KIDNAPPED!!!" Running to the phone, preparing to call the only emergency number I can successfully remember because it's the kind of car Alice owns 911, when I notice a note from Rosie.

Emmett

I got the kids ready for school and Bella took them along with Alexia, Jason, and Bryent. Don't panic and call the police. Read the letter I left in the fridge in hopes that you would actually pay attention and notice it. If not oh well the police wouldn't listen to you again after that prank you pulled last month.

Rosalie

Humph I thought that joke was funny. I went back to the fridge and saw the envelope I found in the fridge. I'll get something to eat then I'll read it. I found the leftover homemade pizza in the fridge; Rosie had made it for Emily she loves homemade pizza.

After eating a few slices and downing some cold coffee I sat down at the table and opened the letter from the fridge.

Emmett

This is your to do list for while I am at work today.

the garbage cans to the road

the dishwasher

THEM AWAY DON'T LAY THEM OUT AND PUT ON A CONCERT!

the car washed

a load of laundry

to the store and pick up Milk, Bread, Eggs, and Cheese (Nothing else)

the laundry in the dryer

another load of laundry

up Emily 2:30

Emily off at Ballet 3:00

the clothes out of the dryer

THEM and PUT THEM AWAY

#7

up Reese from Football Practice 4:00

up Emily from Ballet 4:15

them home so they can change

Emily off at Soccer Practice FIRST 4:30

drop Reese off at Scouts 4:45

#11 & #12

up Emily from Soccer Practice 5:55

up Reese from Scouts 6:10

dinner

Good Luck!

Rosalie

That can't be too hard can it?

**Thank you moonfoot13 my one and only reviewer you get cyber Emmett hugs**

**Kit~Kay, Em go hug her**

**Em~ Okay *runs over to moonfoot13 and gives her a big bear hug***

**moonfoot13~ Em... can't... breathe**

**Em~opps sorry *hugs moonfoot13 less tight***

**Please review it makes me smile!**


	4. My Shopping List

**A.N Thank you for reviewing I'm sorry for not updating (any of my stories) my computer crashed and I lost all of my notes I'm working on it enough about matters that annoy me (that stupid stinkin computer) on with the story.**

My Shopping List

Jasper's POV

I woke to my perfect wife rummaging through her gigantic closet.

"Honey, have you seen my… no wait I found it." She went from the massive closet to the bathroom carrying some type of black fabric and some black shoes that looked like they could be used as murder weapons to finish getting ready I guess.

I went to wake up Alexia and Jason. Surprisingly they were already awake and getting ready so I went to make my famous Chocolate chip pancakes. But Alice was already there "The kids are going to have cereal then we have to go. Because Bella promised to take them to school and they have to be at her house early." She looked up from what she was doing and she looked concerned "Sweetie I know you wanted to make breakfast for them but we're running late." She came over and kissed my cheek then went back to what she was doing.

"Sweetheart I left a shopping list for you and you know when to pick up the kids and from where right and even if you don't they have their cell phones so they can call you if you forget." With that she left with the kids in tow.

I walked over to where I thought she would put the shopping list. I picked up what looked like a list and read what I saw.

Milk (1%)

Yogurt

Pop tarts

Glad Garbage bags

Eggs (eighteen)

10 (Almost ripe) bananas

10 Apples

Orange juice (no pulp)

Coffee filters

10 Cucumbers

10 Tomatoes

Applesauce

Garlic bread

The list went on and on it looked like there were at least seven pages!


	5. Breakfast

**_A.N. I actually wrote this during math I was so freakin bored and writing this made me feel less so? Hummmmmmm.... AKWARD. OH WELL!!! on with it here is Edward's morning._**

Breakfast

Edward's POV

I woke up to the smell of breakfast, I turned to roll over and fell off the couch. Huh, the couch? Oh yeah Bella was mad at me and she had every right to be. I rolled my head and shoulders, I was extremely sore from sleeping on our tiny couch.

Bryant and Elizabeth were eating at the table. Bella was wearing a very professional looking black pinstriped suit and had her hair pined up.

"Edward there is a list of things to do, a list of the only things Elizabeth eat and watch, don't fallow the list and she will throw a fit." That seemed easy enough, Bryant had finished eating and they both walked out the door.

Elizabeth picked up a handful of egg and threw it at me hitting me in the face. Blinking the egg bits out of my eyes I said "Looks like you have some aim huh?"

"Daddy funny," she exclaimed giggling.

"Yeah sweetheart daddy funny, now let's get you cleaned up and see what mommy left for us to do." I said walking toward her highchair.

She eyed me, picked up her spoon full of applesauce and flung it at me "Nuh uh!" she yelled at me "DADDY DO!"

"Okay let's see what mommy left for daddy to do." I picked her up and she touched my face leaving behind some more applesauce.

"Daddy in for it," she giggled and I had a feeling she was right.

I glanced at the list Bella had left for me of what Elizabeth would watch it was one word and when I read it I knew I would have to say goodbye to my sanity.

BARNEY

**_A.N. Aww poor Edward first he was stuck on the couch, then he gets food thrown at him, and last he may just lose his sanity. The dinos didn't go extinct because they were killed BARNEY came and they all committed suicide._**

**_I hoped you enjoyed it sorry its so short the next chapter may or may not be longer it all depends on how motivated I feel._**

**_Please show my story some love and Review._**


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